@envydatropic: You know the jack in a box that scared the life out of you when you were a child? That's me as an adult cooking with my smoke detector
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@HumorParasite: Friend told me that on her strict new diet, she eats each meal naked in front of a mirror. I said would you like to come over for dinner?
@SodomyClown: I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to get in her trunk or she'll have to do this the hard way.
@batkaren: COMPUTER: HINT: name of best friend ME: Jen C: Jen sounds nice M: Wh-what? C: Is Jen single? M: Uh… C: Answer the question. Is Jen single?