@mishakey: You know those disgusting people who lick their fingers instead of using a napkin in public? Hi.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@IamEnidColeslaw: I bet every time Beyoncé leaves a restaurant everyone fights over who gets to smell her chair
@PhoenixRises69: Asked my 65yo mom what she'd like for Christmas and she said "Surprise me". Hope she likes her new pet python.
@PhilJamesson: Doctor: The tests came back. They don't look good. The tests: ok wow this is the kind of attitude that made us leave in the first place
@TheToddWilliams: [Japan] HEAD SCIENTIST: Hey, what did you guys do with all the nuclear waste? *distant Godzilla noises*