@mishakey: You know those disgusting people who lick their fingers instead of using a napkin in public? Hi.
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@novicefather: I remember back when I had to charge my Nokia 8210 once every 96 days. My iPhone lost 4% just typing this tweet.
@Zombie_Kitv2: Even in a suit, Matthew McConaughey looks like he's just been rescued after two weeks lost in the desert.
@megbada: I absolutely recommend falling in love with your twitter crush and traveling about 3612 miles to boink them.