@F5X11: You know what doesn't cry? Birth control
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@KentWGraham: Can you imagine the reaction 20 years ago if you showed people a photo album filled with pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
@daemonic3: To whoever has my voodoo doll, can you stop making me stare at my phone all day? This isn't funny. I just want to live life again.
@therealeatwood: BRAIN: Wake up! Someone’s knocking on the door of your hotel room! ME: No one is knocking and I’m not at a hotel. BRAIN: Haha, you’re up tho