@jtswhipped: You know what I love about having kids? Not having them.
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@Smug_Lemur: The best part about talking to a narcissist is how there isn't any pressure to add to the conversation.
@Mr_Kapowski: Dear Dreamworks, How to Train Your Dragon was not the instructional movie I was hoping for since acquiring a Komodo dragon
@silvertongue37: I could survive 3 months in the wilderness with a pocket knife and the contents of a woman's purse.
@hazelmotes1: Giving your kid a recorder and telling him to go home and practice is how teachers get revenge on society for paying them so poorly.