@SortaBad: "You know what pal, lay your own damn eggs" - jerk chicken
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@RandomManik: If I were a millionaire, I'd probably sign up Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow for a movie called, 'Salt' & 'Pepper'.
@kevinrowe1: My wife doesn't mind me flirting with other women. She finds the rejection quite entertaining.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: I'm not sure if this clerk is smiling at me bc he knows I'm high or bc we're both high, but it's been 6 minutes and we're still just smiling
@UncleDuke1969: Me: Leonard Nimoy died today. Co-worker: From Star Wars? *goes home* Wife: How was your day? Me: Leonard Nimoy and a co-worker died today.