@PhilNista: You know what really gets my goat? Chupacabras.
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@WarrenHolstein: If Miley Cyrus really wanted to shock us at the VMAs, she'd show up in a burka covered in a snowsuit and slowly add more clothing each hour.
@Reverend_Scott: "So, why do you want to be a veterinarian?" [pictures an army of cyborg dogs with laser eyes and jet packs] ...I love to help animals.
@AmericanGent69: *holds flashlight under chin Me: suddenly the mystery of... Son: haha Dad has like 3 chins *drops flashlight Me: SANTA CLAUS IS FAKE!!
@CulturedRuffian: I just want the confidence of my grandpa in church taking a call from the pharmacy on speaker phone to confirm his Viagra prescription.