@ibid78: "You know what, that's some ?.."
"Calm down you're being irrational right now."
@KeetPotato: unstable person: "when there is no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth"
stable person: "i look after the horses"
@sfreeze6: Seize the day. Repossess the evening. Impound last week. Forcibly confiscate the entire month of September.
@wolfpupy: what most people dont know is that you can use the trick or treat system to get large amounts of candy for free
@FatherWithTwins: 4yo: *shoots me with gun*
*stuffs gun in my pocket*
Me: *Realizes he just made it look like a suicide*
*keeping an eye on him*
@_NTFG_: I'll tell you what's wrong with modern society. Nobody ever drinks out of the skulls of their enemies anymore.