@ibid78: "You know what, that's some ?.."
"Calm down you're being irrational right now."
@david8hughes: The movie 'Up' is utter bullshit. I tied 57,000 balloons to my house & my wife didn't die.
@mattZillaaaa: I hate it when all of North America tells me I exaggerate
@PaperWash: [1st date]
me: are you cold?
date: *shivering* a little
me: *putting second hoody on* that sucks
@Sassafrantz: Ghosts are pretty cool because they can literally do anything they want, but they choose to hide my keys.
@NewDadNotes: Me: [giggling] who is Thor’s favorite rapper?
Wife: I don’t know, MC Hammer?
Wife: [sigh] what’s wrong?
Me: nothing...I mean...why did you say I don’t know if you clearly knew the answer.