@13spencer: You know what they say, the secret to a good relationship is never going to bed married.
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@YUCKYBOT: You know what they say? Once you go white, you'll rob the world of it's resources and murder indigenous peoples.
@TheToddWilliams: [creation] GOD: Let's name some of you bugs FLY: Me first! GOD: Okay…Fly FLY: Hell yeah! BUTTERFLY: Now me! GOD: Hmm…Butterfly FLY: Sonuvab-
@TheBeerGuy73: [Voice from police helicopter] PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! *raises hands* *takes flattering selfie in helicopter spotlight* *uploads new avi*
@jbillinson: Biden: "Guess who just upper-decked the toilet outside the Oval Office?" Obama: "Dammit Joe, I have to live here for two more months"