@sammyrhodes: "You know what would make a good gift for this 3yr old? A harmonica." - people without kids
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JervanF: I can't wait till I have kids so I can drive slowly past McDonalds and tell them there's food at home when they ask for some..
@kwirkyKerri: Even the coffee is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. Wait...am I being poisoned? *drinks it anyway*
@TheBoydP: Protip: Never look up from your breakfast if you hear the words "gruesome discovery" coming from your TV on the morning news.
@WonderMonkey78: Atheists don't believe in God or the "i before e except after c" rule of spelling.