@sammyrhodes: "You know what would make a good gift for this 3yr old? A harmonica." - people without kids
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@notfaizzy: I knew this girl, she's really deep; she'd always find a reason to preach about how size does matter...
@AbrasiveGhost: INTERVIEWER: And why under skills did you put "has dominion over bees"? ME: [covered in bee stings] You can cross that one off
@TheRobCee: [Jr. Biology class, girls in jumpsuits burst in] OK, who's ready for fun? We're The Photosynthesisters & we're gonna talk 2 U about PLANTS!