@sammyrhodes: "You know what would make a good gift for this 3yr old? A harmonica." - people without kids
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@josePhDhoran: Give a fish a worm, he lives another day Teach a fish to worm, he becomes the best breakdancing fish around
@Brampersandon_: A new study finds that chicken isn't as healthy for you as once thought. "Just don't ask to see our data" clucked one feathered researcher.
@CaniacMONK: *Sees thing on floor *Vacuums over said thing *Vacuum cant pick it up *Picks up thing *Looks at it *Puts it back on the floor to vacuum