@RamblingMachine: You know what's sad? 3 of my team members dying of drinking poison and the last dying of a fractured neck because he didn't drink the poison
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@VinnieLovelace: Saw a guy with a barcode tattoo on his neck. Scanned it with my RedLaser app & he couldn't believe I found him cheaper on 3 online stores
@BallsMcBallski: Me: Most of all, remember to be kind to yourself. You deserve it. Neighbor: If you don't stay out of my heating duct I'm calling the cops.
@kimlockhartga: Oh, you think it's "awkward" going to a wedding by yourself? Try going when you've dated both the bride & groom.
@Ideal_Victoria: If anyone is living vicariously through me, you just bought yourself Flintstones chewable vitamins.