@prettysadmostly: You know whats scarier than a bee chasing you because i dont
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@BillFienberg: I just saw an article titled "Can We build a Real Jurassic Park?" DID YOU FORGET WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MOVIE?!
@HatfieldAnne: A brightly-colored van drives slowly down our street. Kids gather excitedly. It is the Edible Arrangements truck. We are all betrayed.
@sixfootcandy: [blind date] Me: So you can't see me? Him: Nope. Not at all. Me: (stops sucking in gut) This is the best date ever!