@brianbooone: You know when two cops park their cars facing opposite directions so they can talk to each other through their driver-side windows? That’s called a 6-9-1-1.
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@Lhlodder: I can raise kids just fine, but keeping plants alive that only need to be watered once a month is apparently out of my reach.
@LoveNLunchmeat: People who say losing weight is "just math" clearly have no idea how far out of my way I go to avoid math.
@TheDairylandDon: If you wear a ship's captain's hat around, people will just do what you say. I run a Starbucks, a Target, a submarine, and two street gangs.