@RamblingMachine: I told my BF I dreamt he got me a ring for my birthday. Later, I found a wrapped box from him, with a book entitled "the meaning of dreams".

@Smethanie: The Macarena began playing through the dental office speakers as I lied helpless with the hygienist's hands in my mouth today. #survivor

@taylortomlinson: Somebody texted me "What are you doing?" and I just wrote back, "My best."

@JasonLight73: I'm so glad I found Twitter...I finally have a rock solid Alibi for my Google Search History!

@johnbiehl: Damn girl, if you was a fruit you'd be a fineapple, if you was a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital as often as I could.