@DRUNKdadding: You know when your cat looks at your kids like "thanks to you I've been out of food for 3 days and nobody's noticed" .....?
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@RamblingMachine: I told my BF I dreamt he got me a ring for my birthday. Later, I found a wrapped box from him, with a book entitled "the meaning of dreams".
@Smethanie: The Macarena began playing through the dental office speakers as I lied helpless with the hygienist's hands in my mouth today. #survivor
@JasonLight73: I'm so glad I found Twitter...I finally have a rock solid Alibi for my Google Search History!