@IamEnidColeslaw: you know who else had a "fun hat phase"? Abe Lincoln. and we all know what happened to THAT guy
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@XplodingUnicorn: I follow anyone who has "18+" in their bio. I'm waiting for them to post the second half of the math problem.
@trevso_electric: Leave a Post-It on your girlfriend's birth control that says, "guess u don't want 2 have my babies haha."
@Snarfernini: He said we needed to talk so I screamed 'Who are you & what are you doing in my house?' Long story short, it was his house & his wife is mad
@MartaEffing: I joked at school drop off that the white stuff on my kid was powdered sugar, not cocaine, but I took it too far by rubbing some on my gums.