@michaelianblack: You know who's really upset about Romney losing? Wire coat hanger manufacturers.
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@markedly: ACQUAINTANCE: So funny seeing you in the grocery store ME: Yeah ha ha *opens door in freezer section* well this is me lol see ya
@TheHyyyype: WIFE: can you put the baby to sleep ME: *trying to get the baby in a chokehold* his head's too small it's not working
@OhNoSheTwitnt: A Harry Potter spinoff series that focuses on Hermione's origin story called Granger Things.