@michaelianblack: You know who's really upset about Romney losing? Wire coat hanger manufacturers.
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@OnlyFastEddie: I get really freakin pissed off when complete strangers ask me a lot of questions. So no... the job interview didn't go very well.
@WheelTod: Just got your text from last night: you need to cut the red wire first to stop the countdown.
@AristotlesNZ: Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on purpose, I just didn't recognize her with her mouth closed.
@onion_an: 1st date: I love the spiderman movies Me: So do I [thinking of something to say to impress her] Me: I used to be a spider