@mohamudmohamud: You know you are Canadian when 0°c and sunny is beautiful warm day...
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@badbanana: Since they won't vote anyway, Obama should make the GOP look bad by nominating a bald eagle holding a picture of Jesus to the Supreme Court.
@AnOrangeSNES: [Victora's Secret] Wife: You're the most supportive person I know. *A person made of bras walks by* Me: Um what about that guy?
@better_off_dad: Me: Bless me Father for I have sinned. Priest: How long since your last confession, my son? Me: About 45 minutes.
@AustinSommer: If you spin an oriental person around until they get dizzy, do they become disoriented? #LifeQuestions