@mohamudmohamud: You know you are Canadian when 0°c and sunny is beautiful warm day...
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@Hey_Sascha: Nothing is quite as scary as hearing your doorbell ring on the same night you made a blood sacrifice to the dark lord.
@Bluestmoon_: 78% of parenting is spent anxiously praying they don't notice the minuscule lego piece you just vacuumed up.
@UrbanDouchebag: Sometimes when I'm feeling lonely, I write a letter to a prison inmate to tell them how much better my life is than theirs.
@Home_Halfway: "How much for this melted ghost?" Sir that's a bed sheet "You have a lot of them! And they're packaged? IS THIS GHOST HELL" This is a Macys