@ARealTinderella: You know, you don't realise what you've got until you don't have it. I just ran out of toilet paper ...
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@bornmiserable: "Where do escalators come from?" "Well, when an Escalade and an alligator love each other very much..."
@geniusindisgize: If you thought the Dalai Lama giggled alot, then you obviously never met the Mwahaharajah
@Reverend_Scott: The year 4542, artifacts are discovered from our once flourishing civilization. "Looks like they worshiped apples." said one archeologist.
@DaddyJew: Me: so what are you wearing sexy? Collection agency: umm...we'll just call back tomorrow