@ARealTinderella: You know, you don't realise what you've got until you don't have it. I just ran out of toilet paper ...
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@qwertying: Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
@sarcasm_inc: [a spider watching soccer when someone kicks a ball into the net] hell yeah, now eat it
@NightValeRadio: I know I sound like a broken record but tomorrow I'll sound like a misfiring engine and, next week, continuous loud television static.