@shegotagronk: You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning.
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@Spaced_Cowboy00: I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.
@POTerritory: Editor: You wrote a play about Victorian England using menstrual blood as ink? Me: Yes, it's a period piece.
@FuckabillyRex: My dog seems happy so I took her meds to see if they'd help me and I guess at least I won't have any ticks this summer.