@BareChesty: You know your driving really sucks when your GPS says "After 300 yards, stop and let me out"
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@_NTFG_: People say love is the best feeling in the world, but I think finding a toilet when you have diarrhea is better.
@newLettuce: Me: who wants to help me name my new cat? Friend: count me out Me: wow, strong opener! *pronouncing as I write* Count… Meow
@slimmy_shady: When I have a daughter I'm naming her Leroy. No guy will ever say "Yo bro I hooked up with Leroy last night" how would that sound?