@DukEB51: You know you're getting old when you fall down and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
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@MonSwanson: I can't wait for my grandma to ask me repeatedly why I don't have a boyfriend "because I'm such a pretty girl". I'm a psycho, grandma.
@rivalpunks: In middle school, I had a crush on a kid named BJ. When you write Heather loves BJ on your notebooks, you make a lot of friends.
@Breadery: I want my hearse to have 'JUST DIED' written on the windshield with cans tied to the rear bumper.