@DukEB51: You know you're getting old when you fall down and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
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@samuelhlowe: When I go to someone's house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors.
@Wakenbake77: If you find a fry on the floor and you don't share it with me, we can't be friends. Don't touch me. Monster.
@GrumpyComments: Tip for drowning your enemies: Paint pictures of people yawning on the bottom of their swimming pool.