@NickSwardson: You know you're hung over when people recognize you but they think you're E.T.
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@j0hnonline: Hi we're a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can't ever find our dog.
@Tmoney68: Sure, everyone thinks a chubby dude in a diaper shooting people with a bow & arrow is cute until I do it at Starbucks & please send bail.
@OrangeFact: My new favorite thing on Twitter is this three-year feud between Wendy's and a cabbage account
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I think it's weird how President Obama appointed George Clooney Secretary Of Handsome. #DNC