@NickSwardson: You know you're hung over when people recognize you but they think you're E.T.
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@Coops_Bradley: Good luck to the 13 year old girl who is pregnant and wrote "California" for ethnicity on her clinic forms.
@ABurgerADay: What idiot called it the road to Bethlehem instead of the highway to the manger zone?
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: You need to eat vegetables instead of candy if you want to be tall. 4-year-old: I’ll just be small and happy.