@NickSwardson: You know you're hung over when people recognize you but they think you're E.T.
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@darksidedeb: I accidentally dropped one of my husband's Viagra into my contact solution and now I'm cockeyed.
@InternetHippo: I was 13 the first time I tried probiotics. Some kids were passing a cup of yogurt around at a party. I figured why not? Now I’m in prison.
@blondecalamity: My ex used to sing "Brown Eyed Girl" to me.... I have blue eyes. This should have been a sign.