@bornmiserable: You know you're on drugs when you're talking to your kids about drugs and you don't have any kids.
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@kelkulus: Fun Christmas Trivia: "Myrrh" is the awkward sound you make when you look at your bank balance on Dec 26th.
@TweetsByTheTony: The Lion King is probably my favorite children's movie about running away from your problems until you're strong enough to kill your uncle.
@Underchilde: Stop, drop and roll if your clothes are on fire or if you spot your ex under the mistletoe.