@bornmiserable: You know you're on drugs when you're talking to your kids about drugs and you don't have any kids.
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@997omar: Whenever I meet a new baby, I stand still and let it come up to me and smell my hand first before I try to pet it
@kentgrossarth: Why the plus or minus on the pregnancy test, ept? How about a simple yes or no and we'll decide if that's positive or negative.
@Dr_powpow: I'm sorry I poked your baby with your selfie stick but I didn't really know what to do with either of them.