@ryaninco: You know you've had too much to drink when you ask Siri to drive you home.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@huntigula: GOD: it's time I punished the humans again JESUS: cool. flood or plague? GOD:[watching The Apprentice] oh I've something way worse in mind..
@dafloydsta: NURSE: What's your blood type? ME: Oh, I'm not picky. I'll drink any kind. NURSE: What? ME: What?
@buck4itt: Thanks for keeping your Instagram account private. I'd hate for those pictures of your lunch to fall into the wrong hands.