@ryaninco: You know you've had too much to drink when you ask Siri to drive you home.
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@Book_Krazy: Me: *excited* I bought a bunch of Christmas carbs just like you said! My boss: You mean Christmas cards? Me with doughnut glaze all over my face: what My boss: what
@Coolisiana: INTERVIEWER: What do you see as your biggest weakness? ME: INTERVIEWER: ME: MY MOTHER: He's not good at speaking up for himself
@TheBoydP: What's it called when a super model wants to date an accountant? Wishful thinking. Obviously
@SteveHofstetter: Samsung just announced a series of water resistant phones. Just what you want in a phone that sets itself on fire - to be water resistant.