@ryaninco: You know you've had too much to drink when you ask Siri to drive you home.
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@rainsutton: Just heard Justin Bieber vowed not to return to the UK after his disastrous tour here. Well done the UK. Well done.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Mom holding crying baby: He just needs to be changed. Me: Yeah hopefully into a puppy or something quieter.
@fightforfood: Karen, if you can see this, the tupperware didn't come with the lasagna. The tupperware wasn't a gift