@perlapell: You know you've just had lunch with a narcissist when your neck is stiff from nodding.
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@envydatropic: Surround yourself with people who will groom your eyebrows should you ever become comatose
@Birdhumms: I believe you cannot save people, you can only just love them. Which is probably why my job as a lifeguard didn't last long.
@TheSharona06: Sometimes I put my cat in the sunroom hoping the coyote who lives out back will charge at it and bounce off the glass.
@robdelaney: Maybe Van Gogh cut his ear off because someone traveled back in time and whispered a Drake song in it.