@perlapell: You know you've just had lunch with a narcissist when your neck is stiff from nodding.
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@Reverend_Scott: God: You finish all 11 commandments? Moses: About the 11th one... God: What? Moses: Check yourself before you wreck yourself? God: Fine, 10.
@CheeseCasket: Pharmacist: Don't take this while driving and make sure you eat- *crushes pill and snorts off the counter* "Ok"
@sofarrsogud: MOM: Any plans tonight? ME: Me and the guys heading out to find us some ladees *shoots finger guns HER: So Pokemon Go with Gary? M: Yessss