@perlapell: You know you've just had lunch with a narcissist when your neck is stiff from nodding.
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@rockymomax: [having sex] Her: HARDER! ME: Divide 110 into two parts so that one will be 150% of the other. What are the 2 numbers? Her: 44&66 HARDER!
@brennadine: I'VE GOT GOATLIKE SPEED & REFLEXES "Don't you mean catlike-" BAAAH [Climbs on top of roof and begins eating shingles]
@WineMummy: When you're on a date that's not going well, just start talking about genital psoriasis. You're welcome.