@NickBossRoss: You legally aren't married until someone says, "haha but seriously" in their wedding speech.
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@Tmoney68: BREAKING: California becomes first state to ban plastic bags. People who love picking up dog shit with their bare hands rejoice.
@Girl_Censored: A 13 yr old just told me I was cool for an old person. I almost slapped her then she said "you're like 23, right? I bought her ice cream.
@shutupmikeginn: "Are you left handed?" - people who see me writing with my left hand, curious if I am just doing it for show.