@NickBossRoss: You legally aren't married until someone says, "haha but seriously" in their wedding speech.
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@sfreeze6: "Mrs. Doubtfire" is my favorite movie about a messy custody battle that gives way to horribly illegal and creepy transgendered stalking.
@chrisanna4real: My signature move is being a complete idiot trying to convince someone that I'm not drink. Drank. Drunk.
@_ElvishPresley_: Bat 1: Do you ever think God made us blind so that we may see the world for what it truly is? Bat 2: (startled) who said that
@NervousJr: Whenever you're feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there's people that pay money to exercise.