@seethenare: "You like mayonnaise? Prove it." - Costco
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@thatUPSdude: That awkward moment when you pretend to be on the phone so you can avoid talking to someone, then your phone rings.
@TrainedHedonist: Perverts have made it so you can't even park your makeshift surveillance van conspicuously outside girls' college diving team meets anymore.
@seriouslyemily: I like my men like I like my packets of instant oatmeal: Chunky and knowledgeable with facts about dinosaurs."