@d2BMcG: You look dirty, so does your toaster maybe you should both go for a bath... I'll draw it
@im_srishabh21: #FattenUpABand The Rolling Scones
@Bob_Janke: I was watching you while you slept. You look pretty stupid.
@mydmac: *answers phone call from boss*
I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME AT WORK!
@possibilyss: In hindsight, i shouldn't have said 'surprise me' when the judge was about to sentence me
@so_amused: Interviewer: "Are you proficient with Microsoft Office?"