@fatherofcomedy: 'You look fat' is both an ice-breaker and a bone-breaker
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheRolo: If I check out your blog, what will you do for me? Love me? Ok fine, but you're telling my mom we're going out.
@donni: Finally, you get a cab. The driver is a golden retriever. You hop in and hope for the best
@seamussaid: FYI: hey my wife came home in a terrible mood and I figured I'd read her one of my tweets to cheer her up, turns out that's a bad idea guys