@fatherofcomedy: 'You look fat' is both an ice-breaker and a bone-breaker
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@KimmyMonte: Your Honor the defense rests. They are so tired. Aww they look like angels when they sleep. Kinda makes u forget about the double homicide
@P_Liesenhoff: US customs officer during passport check at airport: You were born in Beirut? Why the GER passport?? Me: No, it’s Bayreuth, see, the spelling is different! Him: What’s the difference? Me: My town is in GER, the other is in the Middle East. Him: Sir! Are you from the Middle East??
@Donna_McCoy: Wish I had the unbridled enthusiasm of a freshly groomed dog heading straight for a mud puddle.