@shwood: You make a compelling argument, Morty.
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@chrisdowning: Tweet about drinking too much = 50 quick likes Facebook about drinking too much = A phone call from my mom
@QueenofSparta: Dog HQ Dog leader: the catpocalypse has begun Dog 1: destroy the fluffies Dog 2: we'll take 'em down 007: meow. I mean, right on
@chrischromak: trump: u gave hillary 3 scoops of ice cream & i only got 2 icecream guy: u ate the first scoop already trump: ive never eaten ice cream ever
@patnspankme: When I wear cargo shorts and I need to find my phone I suddenly transform into a baseball coach giving play signals.