@ecorno2: You may be a good person deep down inside, but I don't carry around a shovel
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@LoneWolfStanley: Keep thinking about asking out a woman that works at my gym but if we end up back at my place she'll see that I've been stealing towels.
@dafloydsta: [job interview] Says here you're good with nicknames? "I don't wanna brag Super Cool Interviewer Man" *under his breath* holy shit he's good
@SaltyCorpse: When I was in college I had all these philosophical questions. Now I just want to know how these kids got toothpaste under the toilet seat.