@ecorno2: You may be a good person deep down inside, but I don't carry around a shovel
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ericsshadow: [wife checking on me and the kids] Hello "I called the house, you didn't answer." I went out. "Ok. Well how have they been?" How's who been?
@EverydayGirlDad: 4yo: You're a good dad. Me: Thanks. 4yo: You'd be better if you said yes more. Me: Okay. 4yo: Can I have ice cream? Think about what I said.
@briangaar: Whenever people are like "We need to restore traditional values to this country" I assume they mean slavery and burning witches at the stake
@bobvulfov: DOCTOR: im writing u a prescription ME: [winking] nice thanks doc i wont tell anyone DOCTOR: again, this is totally legal ME: shh be cool