@jaslakhmna: You may have a drinking problem - when your mother asks you to toast the bread.....and you raise your glass and say "here's to the bread"!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@texasstalkermom: Want his attention? Send nudes Want to piss him off? When he responds, reply "Oops, wrong person"
@tchrquotes: 6yo:You can't eat chips before dinner! Me:YOU can't. I'm a grown man. I do what I want. *Wife walks in*: What's that? Me:WHAT? NOTHING. Huh?
@MikeCanRant: There are shockingly few security guards at dog shows. You can run out and pet 4 or 5 dogs before they catch you. Last time I pet 8 of them.