@goldengateblond: You may think a squirt of water in the face is the best way to reprimand cats but turns out it works pretty well on people too.
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@WilliamAder: My Twitter clique is basically five or six people who have mistaken me for someone else.
@LoriLuvsShoes: How many times can you celebrate a 29th birthday before people catch on? -asking for a friend
@MAngelo505: FACT : Half of all missing person reports involve people trying to find their way out of IKEA.
@weismanjake: When someone tells me to have a safe flight it's like ok I will do my best but just so you know I am not the pilot of the airplane