@goldengateblond: You may think a squirt of water in the face is the best way to reprimand cats but turns out it works pretty well on people too.
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@iamMunga: Too many kids crying. I'm never having kids.I'm just gonna adopt an adult who has a job already.
@brennadine: [Dog asleep on rug] I once killed a bear with my own two paws [Legs move wildly] THAT'S IT I'M WAKING HIM "No Henry. Let sleeping dogs lie."
@WheelTod: Not saying dogs are better than kids in every aspect; but good luck finding a kid willing to lick up his own vomit.