@xofreckles: You mean 'idiosyncrasies' doesn't mean two or more idiots doing the same thing at the same time?
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@MaraWilson: FRIEND: Want to do Escape the Room? ME: Dude like 90% of my life is me trying to figure out how to get out of places I don't want to be
@sixthformpoet: A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius.
@audipenny: I am dressed in all grey and a man also dressed in all grey just stared at me and for a second I got very nervous that he thought I was him
@themiltron: [working at Bed Bath & Beyond] ME: Hi there, may I help you? What are you looking for? CUSTOMER: Shower head. ME: Sir, please, we just met.