@xofreckles: You mean 'idiosyncrasies' doesn't mean two or more idiots doing the same thing at the same time?
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@longwall26: Next time a job interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years, say "Why TELL you when I can SHOW you?" then just sit there for 5 years.
@david8hughes: [steps off crosstrainer] "Hey girl [out of breath, hands on knee] you like f-fitness? Cos I'm fitn--" "Shall I call an ambulance?" "Please."
@HelloJessicaFox: I'm going to visit a dairy farm and pet all the cheeses and see if they'll eat out of my hand.