@BackrowSeats: You might think you're smart until you try using someone else's microwave.
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@rpbateman: Sometimes I tell myself that everything that I've been through in life is totally worth it. Then I laugh hysterically.
@trevso_electric: If your Facebook picture is a photo of a sunset or something inanimate, I'll assume you have a dissociative identity disorder.
@DumbConfessions: Walmart greeter smiled at me. Long story short, the weddings Friday. Everyone's invited. Except Harold. HE said I'd NEVER find true love.