@Bob_Heller: You might want to read all of my tweets... so that when the movie comes out you can be all pompous and say the timeline was better.
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@XplodingUnicorn: [out in public] Me: A kid is crying. Wife: It's not one of ours. [we fist bump]
@Book_Krazy: Calm down 'Fitbit' joggers. I can drink one 5-Hour Energy and reach my target heart rate without even getting off my couch
@Dani_Feld: Me: I wish for a lightsaber. Genie: Be realistic. Me: Ok, I wish for a boyfriend. Genie: Would you like your lightsaber in blue or green?
@markhoppus: Watching Riverdale with my son has afforded us important discussions like not to lie to the police when your twin brother dies mysteriously.