@karencheee: "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - neighborhood drunk
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@iamspacegirl: God *using a bear to dry his face* Angel: OMG what are You doing?! God *wrings it out and drops it on the ground* makin ferrets, calm down
@ITomHorvat: When someone starts making fun of my air guitar skills I just whip out my finger pistols and it usually shuts them right up.
@markedly: HER: I've never known someone to google things during sex ME: we learned a lot though HER: you screamed "ostriches are faster than horses"
@LackOfShame: I'm "had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn't pick up and start dialing" years old.