@bazecraze: You name it, my mother knows somebody who died of it.
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@Dis0beyJay: *Putting ikea furniture together* Her: ummm, it's supposed to be a dresser Me:* Standing next to a wooden T.Rex* I KNOW WHAT IM DOING, LINDA
@AimeeHelene1: Kid behind me on plane kicking my chair and coloring. *turns around* *grabs one of his crayons* *slowly breaks it* *whispers "you're next"*
@rickolantern: Dear guy lighting bottle rocket fuses with a cigarette that's still in your mouth, You're going as a pirate for Halloween.
@Ms_Moneypenny_: Who says you can't make someone love you? I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.