@darrinfb: You never really realize how messed up your family is, until you start describing them to people that don't know them.
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@awkwardphilippe: [Jedi Academy] Why do you want to be Jedi? [Imagines using 'the force' to steal everyone's cats and building a cat army] To keep the peace
@MikeCanRant: People wont mess with you if you eat a cup of yogurt and then smash it on your forehead because youre tough and have healthy bowel movements
@underchilde: [Bank robber]: “Time to make a hasty escape.” *Passes a store window full of kittens* *Stands there for six hours*