@curlycomedy: You never see baby pigeons because pigeons are cloned by the government. Next question.
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@alispagnola: Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you're better off staying home with no pants on.
@LackOfShame: "How can I waste ten seconds of someone's time and make total strangers hate me?" - Credit card chip inventor - Me, writing tweets
@JimmyTheThing: Gay or straight, No state should legally recognize a marriage if they don't serve alcohol at the wedding.
@KeithAshers: Hi, I'm here to see the doctor. -me Witch doctor? -reception Nooo...I think he's Jewish. -me [blank stare] Please sit down.