@lisaxy424: You people who don't wear glasses don't realize how gratifying it is to take them off and rub your eyes when someone's being a moron.
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@rockymomax: COP: drop the gun CRIMINAL: no COP: [flipping through police handbook, whispers to partner] it doesnt say what to do if he says no
@slimmy_shady: 20% of traffic accidents involve deer.Who allowed deer to drive in the first place?
@KeetPotato: [my dog lays down on my date's lap instead of mine] date: "i had a good time tonight" me: "i think you need to leave"