@SarahB_D: You people who pull back the shower curtain checking for psycopathic murderers ... if you find one, what's your plan?
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@TheMichaelRock: HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
@Donna_McCoy: I turn my phone off overnight. A 3am text either means bad news or drunk people, and both make more sense in the morning.