@donni: YOU: Please be aware--
ME: I'm not. I never will be. I've never even SEEN a "ware"
@Illiter8: Oh, you thought my hair twirling was flirting?
Actually, it was just me checking for split ends because you were boring the shit out of me.
@Fruit_Slinger: I'm hungry but broke so I'm waiting for my bf to say he's hungry too than he'll order something delicious while I pretend to be indifferent.
@david8hughes: [at the hunting store]
Me: where's the camo gear?
Clerk [winks]: exactly
@JonnyStallone: If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say "in Jesus name amen"
@DoubtTommy: Double cheeseburgers don't make you fat, eating them does.