@donni: YOU: Please be aware--
ME: I'm not. I never will be. I've never even SEEN a "ware"
@TheBoydP: I’m not saying I’m a great dad, I’m just saying it’s a holiday weekend and I’m wearing cargo shorts with a Hawaiian shirt…
@AGreaterMonster: The beauty of meditation is it helps instill inner peace in someone that makes it easy to pick his pockets.
@TheBoydP: Ninety percent of being an accountant is fighting off the babes...
@kumailn: The director of "A Girl in the River" went to high school with me in Karachi! She won an Oscar! This is not gonna help w my parents. #Oscars
@sarah1mc: I'm not saying you're an idiot,
I'm typing it.