@GibJimson: You politely tap a jogger with your car one time, and suddenly you get labeled a hero.
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@stockejock: When a cop pulls you over for a DUI at 2am on Friday night & tells you to walk the line-it's never good to start singing Johnny Cash songs.
@3sunzzz: [aquarium exit] Excuse me ma'am, would you mind opening your bag? I beg your pardon?! OPEN YOUR BAG *opens bag and reveals two penguins*
@scorpicpanda: 5: "I went to Banana Land. The bananas danced & had flowers & tiny pandas on their heads." Me: "I'll have whatever that kid's having."