@GibJimson: You politely tap a jogger with your car one time, and suddenly you get labeled a hero.
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@TommyKarate: Thank you for calling. To speak with a human being, please hang up and travel back to the early 1990's.
@Home_Halfway: "10 Things I Hate About You" is my favorite movie that sounds like a bitter Buzzfeed article
@MichaelTrying: "Michael just bought a popcorn popper. You know what he probably wants to buy next? *Another* popcorn popper." -Amazon suggestions logic