@hipstermermaid: You raised me and taught me everything I know. Happy Father's Day, internet.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Tuna_Lover: I'm never at a loss for words when I'm drunk. I just can't pronounce most of them and I make up three or four new one's.
@TheGladStork: Work tip: if you're going to ask your boss if you can "work from home", don't use air quotes.
@PastorMark: A hipster guy is one who kept his grandpa's clothes but lost his grandpa's work ethic.
@somecleverthing: Irrational fear 807: being spoken to by a comedian during their performance. I would die a thousand proverbial deaths and a single real one.