@hipstermermaid: You raised me and taught me everything I know. Happy Father's Day, internet.
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@GrantTanaka: *deep fries turkey *deep fries deck *deep fries backyard *deep fries house *deep fries neighborhood *deep fries los angeles
@ShawnHatosy: I ate a chocolate bar in bed last night & my wife said, "you have a problem" so I replied, "no, you have a problem; I have a chocolate bar."
@TheCatWhisprer: Forgot to use a coupon my wife gave me so now I have to hide it like it's a dead body.