@juliussharpe: You ran a half-marathon? Wow! Half congratulations!
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@GingerHotDish: Licked a frog once. He didn't turn into a prince but he did turn into an ambulance ride.
@IanKarmel: 22 year old me after a night of drinking: "I hope I didn't do anything stupid." 29 year old me: "I hope I didn't agree to go on a hike."
@AaronFullerton: PET PEEVE: Why do we call them baby names? They're HUMAN NAMES. They don't expire as you grow up.
@Mike_Vanatta: My wife complains that I never open the car door for her, but when I do she's all, "Stop it, you're driving too fast! We're on a bridge!"