@Home_Halfway: You really are the cat's pajamas, and by that I mean you're a stupid idea.
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@Blondiethegood: There is no panic like the panic you feel when you think you may have clogged the toilet at someone else's house.
@CharlieDontSrf: If I were an old Chinese man I would never say anything, just nod and laugh strategically to freak people out
@GoldenSpirals: My new washing machine plays a tune very similar to an ice cream truck when it's finished. There's no ice cream in there. I checked. Twice.
@BoogTweets: Her: You're all sweaty. Where have you been? *Flash back to an hour long struggle of me trying to separate 2 shopping carts* Me: The gym.