@eedrk: you remember me as the guy who put his arm in the doorway to hold open the automatic door for you in 2009. welll, now i need a favor
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@Not_From_Troy: I did a survey and asked 5 women what kind of clothing brand they preferred. The 5 responded: "How the hell did you get into my house?"
@Roxtalled: Boss: Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact? Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me.
@WineMummy: Him: Didn't you buy that apple pie yesterday? Me: Yeah, so? Him: There's one small piece left. Me: And if you touch it, I'll stab you.
@LurkAtHomeMom: 5's friend told him his mom makes play doh. Thanks Pinterest. I'm already expected to cook 3 meals a day, now I have to cook their toys too?