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@Norsebysw: "You run like you're making fun of running." -my brother
@matt___nelson: Any dog can be a guide dog if you don't care where you're going
@TheRealAnchovy: I bought my dog a toy cell phone, now it takes him 45 minutes to shit.
@polyhumorous: Why did it have to be the dog? I have the hubby insured for $1.5 million.
@mrjohntofu: Apparently telling someone you'll catch their next wedding is unacceptable, whatevers.
@Ivsy01: Breaking up
(be mature, be mature, be mature)
Me: (eating chips) you can't use the carpool lane anymore.