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@iAmJuddy: You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.
@KalvinMacleod: HER: I'm ending this
HER: you’re way too literal
ME: I promise I can change
HER: prove it
ME: *puts on a different shirt*
@lovemydogduck: For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
@NicestHippo: [high school sex ed class]
When are we ever going to use this in real life
@MiddleageM: Waits for the worst possible time to tell you that they have to pee...
@TommyWallace: [First date]
okay just dont let her know you're a trump supporter
Her: so what kinda wine should I get
Me: haha white is always the best