@Henry_3k: You say I'm handsome but you also said your employer cancelled your optical coverage & you haven't had new glasses in 4 years, but thanks.
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@WilliamAder: A thing I learned at this week's staff meeting is that I have restless leg syndrome when I sleep.
@Book_Krazy: [Arrives at work dressed as a sexy kitty] Boss: *points to memo on desk* "It says no Halloween costumes" Me: *slowly pushes memo off desk*
@wolfpupy: ever since i put all my eggs in one basket i have received unsolicited egg advice, you dont know my life, you dont know what im all about